Saturday, April 3, 2010

Green Zone

Where are the WMD's???!!!!! I'm not Jason Bourne!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Crazy Heart

Crazy Heart
by P.Jenkins

"LLLllladies and gentleman, tonight, put your hands together for Randy "The Ram" Robinson innnnn......Tenderrrrrrrr Merrrrcieeeees."

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Babel

Babel
by P.Jenkins

           [plaintive guitar strings]
We are unhappy, so we will make a bad decision.
Soy estúpido, y tomaré una decisión muy mala.
私は余りに悪い決定をする。 私は聞くことができない。
>snatch<
            [plaintive guitar strings]

Monday, February 8, 2010

From Paris With Love

*in screaming Travolta voice...
"
I'm a bad motherfu$#er!" Blam!@Pow! Bang!

(at least, this how I would describe the first hour before I WALKED OUT)

Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Usual Suspects

I.i.i.i.i.i ...I am a liar.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Marley and Me

Marley and Me
by P.Jenkins
(*I have not seen this movie, so I am guessing.)

Woman: "Oh honey this is the best dog ever! I love you again!"
(turns to dog) "And I wuv y.... "
Man and Woman: "NO!!!!!!!!!!!"

Alternate
Woman: "This dog is so fun and full of life."
Man: "Was."

Million Dollar Baby

Million Dollar Baby
by P.Jenkins

[in Dirty Harry voice]
"You're a trashy girl. But a good fighter. And you can beat anything. Except this injection, Mo Kushla."

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

I love to dance!
No daughter of mine...
Kiss - motorcycle - fight - reunite - win

The Other Original: Crimson Tide

Crimson Tide
by P.Jenkins

[shouting angrily in your face]
"Give me the key!"
"I won't give you the key!"

Brokeback Mountain

Brokeback Mountain
by Buster

Boring, boring, gay, boring, gay, boring, gay, hathaway's tits, boring, boring, gay, BORING.

Amelia

Amelia
by Boxcar

[in that old-timey accent...i have no idea what it is, but newscasters use it]
"nobody has ever tried to do what you are about to do..."

The Original: The Good Shepherd

The Good Shepherd
by Boxcar

[walking suspiciously, pushes bridge of horn-rimmed glasses]
"Don't tell my wife what I do."